He's trying. He's trying so hard to not let everything fall apart. Ever since that day when Helen came and told him about the pregnancy, he felt as if his entire being was held together by frayed twine. It was his own fault, holding out hope for a woman that he had lost over a hundred years ago and was married to another man.

But it was Helen and he was John, and she would always be the only one for him. So now he was tasked with the job of trying to be himself with the knowledge that he would never be with Helen again. It was something that should have happened long ago but if he could change the past, there were more important things to consider.

The meditation was helping though. In lotus position on the beach, he breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly. He enjoyed the wind ruffling through his hair and the calm sound of the waves. He was supposed to be blocking those things out, but for the moment he was taking pleasure in the small things. After all, that was all he had most days.

When he heard someone approaching on the sand, he opened one eye to see Joan running along the beach. Giving a small smile, he offered a wave to her. If she wanted to run on, that was fine with him, but it would be rude not to at least acknowledge a friend.